Monday, January 2, 2012

The Best of Dream Quotes

I really do have a sense of humor.  It just may not be on the same wave length as yours.  I may not laugh in the same places or even at all at plays or movies or TV shows.  (There are a couple of TV shows in which  I have actually laughed out loud, The Office and 30 Rock.)  
At the end of the year, I was reading my dream journals as I prepared to begin a new one for the new year.  I decided to compile a few one-liners or statements that I thought funny.  Now, you may not even care to see what I thought funny, but here goes. (the "color" goes as follows:   Black are regular dreams.  Brown are dreams where I am vaguely aware it is a dream.  Red are Lucid dreams.)

November 18, 2005 
 Then baby threw up all that he had been eating, coins, shampoo bottles, so much kept coming back up.  Poor baby all empty now.

January 5, 2006 
 Hot.  I said to everyone, why are you all wearing black? When it’s so hot.  Then everyone just stared at me.  I had on a black outfit too.

January 3, 2007
 I was arriving at a work assignment, except I flew in on a broom.  I was teased, but said I actually got my aerobic exercise because I had to pedal like a bike.

March 22, 2007
I asked if they had ever seen “The Gods Must Be Crazy”.    I said it was a really old movie that took place in Africa about the natives and a journey and a coke bottle falling from the sky.  … “Why is this old lady, telling us about a dumb movie, that she can’t even remember very well?”

April 15, 2007
 I was concerned about the fish, because the enema bag fish tank didn’t seem to be sufficient.  I wanted to put them in the bigger tanks, but knew the sharks would eat them.  I wanted to get rid of the sharks, but they were Bob’s and I wasn’t sure what plans he had for them.

May 6, 2007 
“Does anyone have any cayenne?” 

May 7, 2007 
We had a week that we all came to work in costume.  I got mixed up on the days and came to work dressed as a wizard, when everyone else was in Marie Antoinette costumes.

May 13, 2007

July 5, 2007 
 …the doorbell rang and it was the visiting teachers.  We told them we were busy with wild animals.

August 10, 2007 
The family members had gathered there at the ranch to discuss what to do with the horses and to plan my funeral.  I tried to communicate with them, but no one could hear me. I tried to remind them that I wanted all music and maybe poetry and a slide show presentation.

November 6, 2007 
I usually like the front row.  Since I was in the back, I thought no one would mind if I levitated to see better. 

November 21, 2007 
I thought it was weird that I dreamed this so many times and now it was really happening.  I decided to test it to see if was a dream.  I pinched myself and touched others to see if it was a dream.  I could definitely feel them, so I figured it was real.

December 12, 2007 
  They answered with “We don’t want to learn to dance, we know how to dance—we want you to tell us your adventures in your detective business.  We heard you have had some amazing breakthroughs and cases.”  I wasn’t sure how they knew about my other business, it was supposed to be a PRIVATE Detective.

March 24, 2008 
“why did we move all this crap with us?”

April 29, 2008 
 Then everyone left, making sure to avoid the thing dripping water in the garage.

May 30, 2008 
I still KNEW it was a dream and wanted to control it, but instead was just watching it play out because I didn’t know HOW to control it—as in HOW to have it play out, or the mechanics of HOW to manipulate it. 

August 5, 2008 
The tubes were flexible and iridescent, almost having a life of their own, seeming to take enjoyment in their duties, weird as it may seem.  This gave “catheter” a new meaning.

September 18, 2008 
I was miffed that someone had placed an elephant on my wall, because it associated me with the Republican party.

September 20, 2008
I thought as I climbed the stairs for the umpteenth time, wow, I have dreamed this so many times, but now it is REALLY happening.  If it’s a dream, I can stop it.  I tried stopping it and couldn’t, so it must be REAL. 

October 15, 2008 
 I constructed or put together something like a “solar liahona” made of blue lego-like things, about the size of a large grapefruit. I was so elated that I had actually put this together without assistance or instructions.

December 15, 2008 
I replied something like, “I have plenty of money, the abundance of the universe flows to me.” 

January 1, 2009 
I realized it must be a dream!  That meant I could make a decision and change something.

February 3, 2009 
…I now told Bob of all the happenings of the previous dream.  He kept saying, “How could you NOT know it was dream?”

March 6, 2009 
 I said to everyone—be careful of the dog poop, don’t walk in it. So, of course, they did.

April 9, 2009 
 The feelings were of frustration and of having huge obstacles placed in my way of what I was trying to accomplish (a simple "get away" to Goblin Valley).

May 1, 2009 
“I guess they don’t require people to clean up after their dogs here…oh, wait, it’s their own yard.  I guess they enjoy being surrounded by dog poop!”

May 11, 2009
I said something like “Ugh, Texas, no way”.

September 30, 2009 
I would have REALLY liked Brandon or Tristan on my team.

November 23, 2009 
 I was really surprised  and delighted that the church had added a line of “colorful” garments  and a line of “lingerie” style ones.

March 2, 2010
The groups of young men especially paid us notice because we had so many beautiful daughters and grand-daughters with us.
May 5, 2010 
I dozed off (in the dream), so I was dreaming that I was asleep and also dreaming.  In the dream within a dream, I dreamed of someone telling me about some important documents.  What I didn’t realize, the dream was within an actual dream…About that time I actually awakened and realized the WHOLE thing was a dream.

July 9, 2010 
It was unusual in that the horse wore shorts and somehow pulled them down to potty.

September 30, 2010
Do you know anyone in Panguitch we could stay with…

October 8, 2010
 The last scene was us being crushed and suffocated in blue and white plastic walls and I was thinking “this is it, I am dying in this weird way.”

October 10, 2010 
  I am very agitated and start yelling at him, saying that it’s exorbitant for a stupid clock.  We could get an awesome horse for that price!!!  And … it’s not even a cool Cuckoo clock!!

December 10, 2010
…all this craziness was costing me extra money, even though the government was paying, they wouldn’t pay for my stupidity!  I mean how could I have brought a cat that I wasn’t planning on taking and forgetting my luggage???

January 8, 2011
 He was a Bad Rap, meaning he was a Good Rap.  Sure, he was carnivorous, and ate meat, but he tried not to eat his friends or humans.
January 26, 2011
I looked at a clock and it read 2:40.  No wonder everyone was hungry.

February 13, 2011
 Heather  was rolling up the loaves, making bolsters (but, how would they last…being made of bread?)

February 18, 2011
….I wish we had  “walkie talkies” and/or a battery operated communication radio

February 25, 2011
I was in my pajamas with mismatched top and bottom and hadn’t done my hair or anything. 
March 9, 2011
…it would be cool if I could actually SING that song. 

March 14, 2011
 Someone said “every one duck!!”  so, I flattened on the ground. (as if that would prevent something) 

April 4, 2011 
“I am an old woman”.  Those sitting around us chuckled and thought this was funny. 

May 2, 2011
I have dreamed this so many times; I just have to make sure it is real this time."  Each one told me that it was NOT a dream.  Then, I woke up and found that it WAS a dream.
May 27, 2011
…if this is a dream, I can leave it.  I tried to stop it, but couldn't,  if I can't stop it, I will try to change it. The only way I could change it was by moving myself, so I began walking,  leaving the house and going outside.  it seemed to be very cumbersome just walking,  I will just fly, so I levitated in the air and began soaring over the landscape, like in the movie Dinosaur.  I came to some very big and scary dinosaurs, so I just reached out my hand to them and willed them into cute, little cuddly creatures.

July 8, 2011
"I have dreamed about this so many times.  Now it is REALLY happening." 

July 10, 2011
 I not only had lost my friends, but my belongings AND my memory.

July 26, 2011
It doesn't seem to be as much fun in a dream. Where are all the interesting people?   the REAL people disappeared as soon as I realized it was a dream. 

October 23, 2011
Then, I realized I didn't have lipstick or a cute outfit on, and felt unprepared for whatever was in store.

October 25, 2011
You're kidding me of course.  You all are fired as architects. I just want a normal triple car garage with room for storage. What in the world were you all thinking???

October 29, 2011
 I pondered on what it felt like to die as I was surely going to.  I just relaxed as best I could hoping to avoid too much pain and felt as if I were floating into a sandstorm with a light vortex.     

 Have I inspired you to keep your own dream journals????

Updated April, 2018:

Sep. 26, 2011
 I began wandering around wondering what to do and then I realized this must be a dream.  Good, if it’s a dream, then I can control it.  The first thing I did was fly because it beat the heck out of slow walking.

Jan. 14, 2012
.  I looked around for my car, but found it was only a seat with a motor and had no room to carry anything. I wondered what had happened to my REAL car,

March 11, 2012
I yelled,  if this is a dream,  I can make you do anything.  So, I pointed to people and made them levitate, one at a time.

March 20, 2012
A person asked if I was there for the Horse Camping Survival class.  I said that I hadn't heard of it, but yes, I would be interested.  what did I have to do?  I was told I needed a split skirt to ride in as they didn't allow women in regular pants.  I told them I didn't have a split skirt, so they would have to put up with me anyway.

 April 17, 2012
  I eventually found (a bathroom) to use and saw that it had a very unusual toilet.  when you sat on it, it gave the feeling of swimming in the ocean.  This was disconcerting. 

July 6, 2012
We called the insurance and the media because it was such a weird story of a horse driving a truck, but no one believed us without actual video of the event. They thought we had made it up.

October 25, 2012
 I said that I wished they would legalize marijuana,  one of the attendees looked at me as if I had said I was a terrorist.

September 22, 2013
The phone kept morphing into weird versions of itself, so I couldn’t use it.  It was also like my brain had turned to mush and couldn't figure anything out.  Why was my phone acting like that?  At that point, I woke up and realized it was all a dream.  Thank goodness.

July 13, 2015    I couldn't figure out why someone would put frogs in a splash pool.  The frogs seemed very smug as if they were in on some secret.

March 14, 2016,  
   This time twice within the dream I asked people to verify it wasn't  a dream.  The first was Bob as we surveyed the place.  "You know how many times I have dreamed this, right? But, this isn't a dream, is it?"  "No."  Then, later when the visiting teachers came I asked them the same question.  They said, "No, that is a strange question to ask."

April 1, 2016
I was on a space station, living or visiting, not sure which.  I was shown how to clean the "toilets", but it struck me as very odd because the water was difficult to keep contained in the zero gravity.  Aren't there better ways of "dealing" with this?

February 4, 2017  
            …   I had met a guy earlier, who was much younger and we "hit it off." After one date we wanted to see each other again, but he had to go back to California for some reason. I can't remember his face clearly, but he seemed to be a blend of Napoleon Dynamite and Matthew McConnaughey.

October 14, 2017  
 I looked back … and realized this WAS a dream!  …I guess that means we can fly instead of walk down these stairs.  He said yes, let's fly.  But, we were enclosed inside with no apparent way to get outside, so we could "fly".  Darn. (Silly me, I didn't think of teleporting outside first!)

April 12, 2018,

  As I looked down, I thought "I am sooooo glad this level hasn't been filled in with cement like in the last dream."  Wait a minute!  This MIGHT be a dream.  I looked carefully around trying to determine if it was a dream, but decided it could be real.  If it was a dream, I could control it, but I didn't seem to be able to.  


Sayyadina said...

Yes. Holy awesome insight and laugh out loud funny! There's a reason you are my hero....

WildBound said...

this is way too funny. Horse with shorts...pull down to go potty...oh, yeah...:)

Desertbound said...

I like lingerie garments, myself:)